Nook-yoo-larr Fam-Lee

I had to laugh at this one, because honey, I hear ya!

Only I don't think ours involved tequila shots.

My boys: 14 and 4 months. There is such a wide range of needs here, and the parental challenges are kept in constant flux. The Eldest, who will be 15 and starting driver's training next month, is very seriously in the throes of pushing and pulling. And The Youngest just learned to roll over for the first time 3 days ago.

When The Eldest was still The Blissed-out Only, rude people would often make comments about "not being a real parent till you have at least 2 kids" and "when are you going to give him a sibling?" I suppose that all has to do with parenting through sibling rivalry, ridiculous arguments, and general craziness that comes with multiple kids. I say, to those people too rude to realize they're being rude:

Point #1. 4 miscarriages, now shut the hell up.

Point #2. You're truly not a real parent until you parent at both ends of spectrum in one day. It's easy to parent 2 or 3 kids who's needs are only a couple years apart...Are you able to go from infant to teen in the blink of an eye? Cuz I can.

This Thing Called Blog

I am sooo bad! Have such a hard time remembering to do this. But, am working on developing habit, and on blogging today a la Brigitte Jones (VVG).

I'm Here!

Yes, I've been out of the blogosphere for a while - a little over 10 weeks, to be exact. The bambino arrived a mere 2 days after my last post (Jan. 17), and promptly created more chaos.

Now, I'm back to work and feeling my way through the new variances in our schedule - namely, day care and track practice for Thing 2 and Thing 1, respectively. And, I'm diving in to the following:

* Volunteering at our women's shelter - picking that back up. We're in need of volunteers, too, so I hate to give that up! I'm hoping to serve on the board as well, come May...will keep you posted on that!

* Losing the PG weight. OK, I'll have to be honest here - I never fully lost it from the first pregnancy FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. So, I'm working on that, rather successfully if I do say so myself! I've got about 15-20 more lbs to go.

* Training for the Canal Run. Ten miles, something I've wanted to do for ages, but never got off my butt to do. So now I'm gonna.

* Starting the karate club - we're in the throes of organizing, and hoping to begin offering classes next fall semester!

Busy me! But, there are too many things that I've wanted to do in life that I've been putting off for far too long. So, here I go!

Things I'm looking forward to

That lovely bottle of cabernet that is sitting in our wine rack, just waiting for me to pour a glass and sip. That's what I'm waiting for!

I've decided that I'm only drinking GOOD wine from now on - no more skimping on my taste buds! So any recommendations are truly welcome!

Politics of Breastfeeding

I catch myself forgetting how non-mainstream a lot of my own ideas are, like breastfeeding (though that's becoming a more normal concept since Thing 1 was born 14 years ago), work-life balance, my beliefs about gay marriage (I'm for it), and etc. There's a recent article in the New Yorker that deals with breastfeeding and pumping that I found interesting. Now, maybe this is on my mind a lot more because of the pending birth of Thing 2 in only a matter of weeks. When #1 was born, I was still a poverty-stricken college student with that wonderful flexible schedule that allowed me to pursue my own interests while maintaining a healthy balance of time with my new son.

Today, I'm a full-time employee who appreciates the beauty of a dual-income, but who also doesn't want to neglect what I feel is an important part of my mothering choices. My dilemma will reveal itself in about April when I return from maternity leave: How will I manage pumping? Do I need to balance myself on a toilet in the single-stall bathroom that's located near my third-floor office? Will I be able to produce enough? How do I keep my supply high enough? How emotionally uncomfortable will this make me as I try to feed my new child?

Truthfully, I'm not pleased with the options (or lack thereof) that parents - and mothers in particular - have when they are forced to choose between work and family. Like, why on earth isn't parental leave paid? According to several sources (check here, here, here, and here.), the US is one of four countries that doesn't provide for paid maternity leave! The others are listed as Swaziland, Liberia and Papa New Guinea. We've got the FMLA, which allows for 12 weeks of UNPAID leave, which means I need to use up my vacation and sick days if I want to keep on top of my monthly bills. And it's only available to me if I work for a company that employs 50 or more. So, fortunately I have this option, but must return to work after 8 weeks with zero sick leave - let's just hope Thing 2 doesn't catch a cold till I stock up more sick days!

And I'm one of the lucky ones...too many parents are struggling with part-time, hourly wages that keep them at just below full-time so they don't get to enjoy the health care benefits that my family has.

And people wonder why I'm so P-O'ed so often!

Kicking Boxes and Sooing Tang

That's it, I absolutely MUST find a way to continue practicing Tang Soo Do, kick boxing, and generally empowering my inner timid girl.

We went to watch some belt tests a couple weeks ago for MTU's Tae Kwon Do club, and I really really really want to break some boards now!

Thing 1 and I talked about possibly joining the Tae Kwon Do club, but it's not as traditional a club as we would like to be part of. There's a local Kajukenpo club, but again, the style isn't what we're looking for. There's also an MMA club, but not what we're looking for. The aikido club is good, but doesn't satisfy my urge to punch things, though I think I will join them some time after Thing 2's arrival.

So, I'm left with 2 options: 1) start a Tang Soo Do club, hoping against hope that we get a couple black belts interested so Thing 1 and I can get to our black belts, or 2) giving up.

I think I'll go with option 1, personally.

Is it crazy to start a new project right before Thing 2 arrives? Naaaaaaah!

Not enough time in the world

Is there ever enough time? I just looked at a calendar, and realized that in 4 short weeks (or less!) I'll be going on maternity leave! And my inner voice (yes, I have a couple of those) said, "Zoinks!"

(Some of my inner voices speak in Shaggy-ese.)

There is waaaaaaaay too much for me to do before the bambino bounces in, and not enough time to do it! For starters, I need to wrap things up at work so I don't leave any loose ends trailing behind me. But, more importantly, I need a crib mattress, and some warm baby clothes because (let's face it), poor Thing 2 is making his arrival in the coldest months known to humans, and in one of the coldest habitable places in the world. (OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, but da U.P. gets pretty darn frigid in February!)

I also need to upload a photo to this and my twitter site, and try to begin nesting. (I've gotten the urge to walk, but I still haven't gotten any cleaning urges...wonder if I ever will...?) That extra surge of nesting energy I keep hearing about sure would be nice about now!

Nesting?

I'm nearly 35 weeks now, and am feeling this weird urge to walk everywhere. Is this nesting? Is this a signal of impending baby-dom? I wonder...

In any case, I walked to work this morning, despite a nasty head cold and arctic temperatures. I fully intend to walk again later today. Normally, I'm a stay-inside kind of gal in mid-winter, with the occasional XC skiing jaunt when temps poke above 20 degrees. But today, all I want to do is walk!

FYI, I'm shooting for inauguration day for Thing 2 to enter the world. Wish me luck!

Seclusion Rooms Rant

This story is haunting me. Not only am I horrified at the concept of a "seclusion room," but I am angered at the way this child was treated.

Apparently, the boy hanged himself with a rope that a teacher had given him to "hold his pants up." Excuse me?? Let me tell you why I find this seemingly innocuous statements so offensive. First, the boy was thirteen, and diagnosed with ADHD. Anyone who has spent time around teen boys - especially those boys who are in their early teens - knows how self-conscious boys that age can be. They are developing, crammed full of testosterone, trying to deal with these changes and yet still maintain some sense of themselves. These are boys on the cusp of adulthood, and the teacher gave him a rope to hold up his pants?

I keep picturing a boy who had that pants-around-the-knees syndrome (thanks, Marky-Mark!) who was probably going against the school's dress code, and a system that OK's punishment by humiliation. You know - those ridiculous punishments that eventually cause psychological damage for some kids. I keep picturing a teacher who probably called out the boy for his low-riding pants, an embarrassed boy responding angrily and defensively, and a situation that escalated quickly to the point where the boy is sent to the seclusion room until he agrees to use the rope (a rope!) to hold up his pants.

I don't know if this is what happened, but it's a scenario I can easily picture. It's insensitive. Maybe teachers ought to be required to undergo sensitivity training and child psychology training ON A REGULAR BASIS if they are to keep their license.

The second reason this upsets me: there are apparently no regulations governing the use of seclusion rooms. It sounds like solitary confinement to me: are we educating and helping troubled children or imprisoning the worst of our criminals? Is this a practice that is safe? What kinds of long-term damage is being done to these kids by being forced into "seclusion?" What kind of training to teachers, school administrators, and school psychologists receive that they think this is an OK appropriate approach to education?

Third: The boy threatened to kill himself on several occasions when sent to the seclusion room, and there was no communication with his parents about the issues. In fact, there was no communication about what the seclusion room was all about. They thought it was like a "time-out."

It seems to me, that if a child's behavior is escalating to the point of violence - especially if this happens on a regular basis - then it is beyond the school's capability to deal with that child. The goal should be to keep all the kids safe, and help that kid, not keep escalating the punishment.

But Baby, It's Cold Outside!

The transformation The Teen goes through is amazing. At 6:30 AM, he had finished his shower, was dressed for school, and sitting on the couch grouching about how cold it is outside. DH loaded the school web site, and lo & behold...SNOW DAY!

Suddenly, The Teen is bright-eyed, smiling, bustling about getting breakfast for himself...amazingly energized in the space of only 30 seconds.

I, on the other hand, remained grumpy because work is obviously not called off due to weather.

Inspirations

Gladys Burrill is one of my new heroes. When I hit my 30s, I started to fall into that trap of thinking it's "too late" or I'm "too old" to do some of the things I've always wanted to do. Things like running a marathon, learning to play the cello, going back to grad school, having more babies.

Maybe it's easy for us to use our age as an excuse, but reading about Ms. Burrill puts me in my place. If Ms. Burrill, at the age of 90, is in training to do her 5th marathon, then I'd better not use my age as an excuse not to run one! Likewise for the cello, the grad school, the babies.

So, Ms. Burrill, thank you for your inspiration. I hope to join you in my quest to complete a marathon!

The Requisite List

I always like New Year (so well, in fact, that I celebrate the New Year at least 3 times through the year: Jan. 1, June 21, and Oct. 31). Note that I've outgrown the stay-up-all-night drinking aspect of the New Years' celebrations. Now it's more about the new beginnings and the lists: two things I am inordinately fond of. I love a good list!


So, you saw it coming, my list for January 1, 2009. Not resolutions so much as things I want to do this year:

1. Have our baby! That's top of the list, for sure.
   
2. Find my calling (this one will have to be cryptic for now.)
   
3. Run the Canal Run. (This link only has last year's results; hopefully will have the dates for 2009 up soon.)
   
4. Buy a couple more mountain bikes and explore the Keweenaw trails with The Teen.
   
5. Start the karate club.
   
6. Get a canoe (or at least rent one several times this summer).
   
7. Take the boys fishing.
   
8. Visit friends...esp. the proposed Wisconsin Dells fishies reunion in August.
   
9. Sell our house! (let me know if you're interested...)
   
10. Pay off both our vehicles. I can't wait to not have a car payment.
    
11. Take more classes - yep, a glutton for punishment, that's me.
    
12. Spend lots of time with my boys - walking, fishing, biking, playing, enjoying.
    
13. Continue my volunteer work at the women's shelter.
    
14. Train Liesl to be a bird dog so Cayce and The Teen can take her out this fall.
    
15. Take a swing through SE lower MI to visit with family.
    
16. Improve my karmic balance.
    

Being Pregnant Means...

1. Never having to waste your time sleeping - here it is, 5:50 on a Saturday morning, and I am wide awake, having popped up so energetically at 5:15 AM. I guess I don't have to worry about getting all the things done that I wanted to do this weekend, now that I have a few extra hours in which to do 'em. Of course, this early rising is after a night spent tossing and turning, and generally not sleeping.


2. No temperature control - I'm either too hot or too cold - Goldilocks will never refer to my temperature as "just right." At the moment, I'm huddled under an afghan, waiting for the house to warm up a bit. I'm sure that will change shortly.


3. Random clenching - Those would be the Braxton Hicks contractions. Not painful, but oh-so-uncomfortable random abdominal clenchings. (Make my lungs feel like they're being crushed!) My body must not have gotten the memo that she doesn't need to worry about the labor practice since we're having a c-section.


4. Constant hunger! - So this is what it feels like for The Teen to be going through one of his growth spurts. I feel like I could eat and eat and eat and eat. It's hard work growing a human.

Procrastination

Yeah, the writer's bane...I have a paper due in a few days, and here I am blogging instead!

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